Kids get bumps and bruises all the time, but I’ve never seen a child so prone to danger as our youngest. Dan can injure himself in the blink of an eye, in situations that no-one else would expect. If it’s true that only an idiot refuses to learn from his mistakes, our baby is in big trouble indeed.

In his life so far, he’s notched up quite a few bumps and bruises, but the top three so far have been:

4. Headbutting Buildings: A couple of years ago, playing in a niehgbours’ back yard, Dan was being chased by a friend. Turning round without using his perpiheral vision, Dan turned and ran…straight into the corner of the house. Essentially, he put a massive vertical scar on his left temple, which grew into an impressive-sized bump. Took weeks for the scabs from that one to heal up.

3. Causeway Tumbles: On a trip to the Giant’s Causeway, we were all bouncing up and down the stone columns. Except Dan, who was belly-bouncing against the stones. Until he bounced too hard, and ricochetted backwards. I saw him fly past me and literally caught him in mid-air as he was falling backwards. If not for that, he’d have landed on his back on some pretty hard volcanic rocks. Ouch.

2. The Tooth Smasher: The most recent addition to Dan’s gallery of scars. While out playing on his swing scooter, he somehow – and no-one knows how – smash his face off the handlebars, chipping a prominent front tooth. And guess what? It was an adult tooth, too. Oopsie.

1. The Wrist Slasher: In this one, Dan’s not quite three yet. We were in his grandmother’s house just days after my father had been buried. The perfect time for some hospital-related shenanigans! Dan, playing the Superman role, rushed at the front door with an outstretched fist and punched straight through a panel of glass. The most of the damage was done when he pulled his hand backward and sliced his wrist on the shards of glass. A trip to Accident & Emergency and some emergency surgery managed to save the motor function in his hand, but it was a scary few days.

I’m sure if we all put our heads together, we could come up with a load more. He’s been known to close his finger in doors, for instance. Lots.

We’re kind of hoping that he doesn’t continue to do lasting damage, or he’s going to end up looking like a toothless yokel. You can see why allowing him to go out on a pair of roller skates is a cause of such worry for us!