Apparently I'm Ruining Her Life!

Following on from my post on outside influences on children, Rachel came off with another cracker this week.

On Friday morning I was trying to coax her into eating her fruit salad before going to school. She was digging her heels in and refusing to do so. She wanted a biscuit and juice, I tried to have the junk food chat but she just wasn’t listening. So I told her that she would be getting nothing else to eat until the fruit was finished.

She then stood up, kicked the table and exclaimed “mother, you are ruining my life!”

I had to turn away so she wouldn’t see me laugh! I said “Rachel, you don’t even know what that means” she replied “yes I do, it means you are making me very unhappy”.

It turns out that a nine year old girl that lives in our street had said the same thing to her sister while Rachel listened last week. It obviously stuck, and now it is her phrase of choice when we are not pleasing her.

If this is what she is like at 4, how will we cope with a teenage version?

How To Find The Time To Give Children Individual Attention

I’m a great believer in the school of thought that all children need regular, one to one, individual attention. I notice that if one of the kids is going through a spell of bad behaviour and we make sure they receive more individual time with us, it makes a big difference to their outlook and mood.

Therefore both Gerard and I do try whenever possible, to do activities and spend time alone with one of the children. For example, yesterday my sister bought gifts for the kids from a local toystore. Rachel’s gift was a make your own jewellry set. It involved quite intricate painting and gluing, before actually threading the beads, and I knew that this wasn’t something we could tackle with the boys around. Gerard therefore offered to take the boys or a walk and Rachel and I spent a fun hour making necklaces.

She revelled in the attention she received, and for once she was able to complete a task without it being pulled apart by her brothers, or without me being called away to someone else.

Today though it was a different story. Gerard was at work, and I was at home with the three wee ones. Rachel wanted to read a new book she had recently got, Jake wanted to build train tracks, and Daniel just wanted lifted. I tried reading to Rachel first, but Daniel was screaming to be lifted, and when I obliged , he attempted to eat Rachels book. I then told Rachel I would read with her this evening when the boys went to bed, she wasn’t amused and started grumping and whining.

Jake then began to cry because he couldn’t get his train track to fit together properly, so I bent down to help him, once again Daniel wanted to be involved and pulled up the track as quickly as I was laying it. Jake panicked and then in temper swept all the trains and pieces of track away, declaring that he didn’t want to play anymore.

I was at my wits end. The three kids were crying and I could feel my temper starting to bubble. I was trying my very best to be attentive and interact with them all, but in the process managed to dissapoint each of them.

In the end I did what all bad mums do, I put on a dvd to keep them occupied, and rocked Daniel to sleep. I don’t want the kids watching TV all day, but sometimes I just can’t manage anything else.

If anyone knows a way that one person can split in three, or even better four, please let me know. Whoever patented that invention would be worth a fortune!

A Visit To Brookhall Historical Farm, Lisburn

Today I had a real taste of what summer will be like this year, in a town where I actually know and socialise with other parents.

A friend and I decided that as the children were off from school, we would take them all on a mini day trip. Since the weather forecast was favourable for once, we decided on a trip to the farm, and a picnic lunch.

We chose Brookhall Historical Farm as it is only about 7 miles from home, it is really cheap, and it has loads of room for the children to play.

The kids all had a ball, and for once there were no arguments and no fighting. My two were thrilled when a kid goat began chasing them around a field, and they were hysterical when the donkey began to ‘Hee Haw’ at a deafening volume.

Daniel was fascinated by the mini lake and tried to jump out of my arms and into the water many times. And when the kids were amused and playing in a safe environment, my pal and I were able to have a great gossip and chat, uninterrupted for once.

It was a lovely day, I am looking forward to repeating it many times during the summer holidays!

Outside Influences On Children

They say you can raise the perfect child, until they mix with other children. Over the last few weeks I have had some detailed insight into that topic.

Over the last month or so Rachel has been playing outside almost every hour that she isn’t in nursery. She has become so sociable, and it is so funny to see her playing games like ‘mummy and daddy’ and hopscotch. She seems to have aged 4 years in just 4 short weeks.

I love seeing her interact in a large group, I love how confident she is, and how much she enjoys the company of other children, especially girls.

However not all the behaviour changes have been positive. Rachel has always been strong willed, but rarely cheeky. Yet when out playing she has started to really stand her ground, and refuse to come in when I call her, telling me ” I will come in when I want to come in!”

We also heard her talking about boyfriends yesterday. To be fair the kids were playing ‘mummy’s’ and Rachel asked one of the other girls to be her boyfriend, so she obviously doesn’t get the concept, but still it’s a word and a concept that she has never used or thought of before.

So you see nothing too bad has occured, and she hasn’t been intorduced to hard drugs or anything, but slowly it is beginning to dawn on me that there is only so much I can protect her from, and only so much I can influence her, or stop other people influencing her. From here on in she will be exposed to things outside of my control.

I have never thought of myself as a control freak, but now I am beginning to wonder………

The Great Outdoors!

Where have my children gone….I haven’t seen them in days!

That is a bit of an exaggeration, but since the sun started shining earlier this week, I haven’t been able to keep Rachel and Jake indoors for more than 15 minutes at a time.

A month ago jake couldn’t ride a 3 wheeled scooter, now he is like a speed demon on the two wheel version. A month ago Jake was just learning to ride a small two wheel bicycle with stabilisers, now he zooms up and down the street on Rachels much bigger model. Rachel can cycle with no hands and rollerskate without falling over at every step. Daniel loves the baby swing and eating sand!
The time outdoors has been great for me too. Since the kids are too young to play outdoors alone, I have been spending most of my time on our garden bench watching over them. This has resulted in my usual blue/white skin obtaining a much healthier glow. My skin normally burns and then goes white again, but this year due to my vigilance with the low spf lotion and the lengthier periods outdoors I have a very very slight tan.

Long may this fine weather continue! If only I could convince Gerard to clean out the barbecue then it really would feel like summer time!

Activities For Children: Library Visits

I love our local library. Its a fun, educational place to take the kids….and even better its free!?

We got Jake his first library card when he was only two months old and Rachel was just turned two and ever since we have been regular visitors.?

Our local library is very small, but the librarian knows everyone, and always has a smile and some kind words for the children.?

On entering, Rachel and Jake make a beeline straight to the childrens tables and chairs at the back of the room, and always play first with the bead frames and jigsaw puzzles. While they are occupied Gerard and I can choose browse the shelves and choose our books, I laugh at his weird choices, and he admonishes me for picking yet another piece of ‘chick lit’.?

The we settle at the back and read a few stories before letting the children pick some books to take home.?

Children model their reading behaviour on on their parents, and many studies have shown that children who don’t have parents who read, often don’t see any purpose in learning to read at school.?

Cultivating a love of books in your children at an early age is vital to ensuring they develop good literacy skills. Visits to the library are a great and enjoyable way to enforce their love of reading.?

I am especially grateful for the library in the winter time. The storytelling and craft sessions that they host for children are a great way to keep the family amused when the weather is too cold or wet to play outside.?

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New Mum Seeking New Friends

I came across this article “New Mom Seeking New Friends” a while back on Daily Bulletin, and it took me way back to when Rachel was first born..

Becoming a mother for me was quite an isolating experience. I was the first out of all my friends to have a baby, I didn’t know anyone in my area, and other than my mum I had no one to talk to all day while Gerard, my sisters and my friends worked.

As happy as I was to become a mum, (and I was ecstatic!) I was also daunted and lonely and terrified, it was the one time in my life when I could have done with support from people in a similar situation.

When Rachel was 9 months old I bit the bullet and joined a local mother and toddler group. I was so nervous when I walked in for the first time, but little did I know that I would in time come to live for those Thursday mornings when I could engage in some adult talk and gossip. Even if it did constantly revolve around our children, our lengthy labours and our lack of sleep!

When Jake was born we moved house again. I spent another 2 years knowing no one in our area. So in Septemeber when Rachel started pre-school I once again began to venture out of the house.

The kids and I now attend two weekly mother and toddler groups, we are invited to more birthday parties than I can afford, and Gerard is starting to worry about the cost of my much improved social life.

It makes such a difference having people you can call upon in times of need. It makes an even bigger difference having people you can just talk rubbish with for a few hours while you watch the children play.

I am happier, therefore my children are happier. We have finally made a life for ourselves in our home-town.

A Week At The Seaside!

We have spent most of this Easter break either at Gerard’s Mums house in Ballycastle (a beautiful Irish coastal town) or at my Mums mobile home in Waterfoot (a beautiful Irish coastal village).

We all enjoyed some much-deserved time off and some great quality time together as a family. It was the stuff that memories are made of.

Today my Mum and I took the kids to the beach for a few hours to run off some energy. The weather was great for an Irish April day. It was sunny and mild but not particularly warm.

We set off, buckets and spades in hand and began by building sandcastles, which Rachel wanted to decorate, Jake wanted to demolish and Daniel just wanted to eat. There was a lot of fighting, some crying and some gagging, but we worked it out by digging a mote around the castle and sending Rachel and Jake off with their buckets to get some water. For 20 minutes they watched the water disappear into the sand and ran to refill and pour again.

As the minutes passed, the children’s clothes seemed to fall off! At first it was their socks and shoes, then they had their trousers rolled up, next the trousers were off, then the t-shirts. Before we knew it, both of them were running up and down the beach in their see-through white underwear, oblivious to the cold.

Daniel’s first encounter with sand was hilarious. He freaked as soon as I took his socks and shoes off and he felt the sand beneath his toes and he tried to pull himself back onto my knee. Slowly he became more confident and began to touch the sand, then eat the sand and of course as Karen Walrond at Blogging Baby predicts he rubbed it into his eyes again and again and again!

When it was time to leave, I couldn’t put Rachel and Jake’s clothes back on as they were saturated, but as the dip in the ocean was rather impromptu I hadn’t brought any dry outfits. So I hunted our van for some spare clothes, and my children ended up leaving the beach with Jake in a Batman dressing-gown, Rachel in a green top and purple skirt both of which were given to me by a friend and are at least two years away from fitting her. They looked like a pair of clowns.

They came home exhausted and hopefully they will sleep well tonight. I know I will!

Educational, Fun And Christian. Why I Love VeggieTales!

Last year a friend who is currently living in The United States Of America sent Rachel a birthday gift.

I helped her unwrap it and found a strange looking video cassette with animated vegetables on the cover, it was called VeggieTales.

We put it on and it turned out to be a version of the bible story ‘David and Goliath’ with animated vegetables taking the starring roles.

Rachel loved it! I don’t know if it was all the songs or the funny looking characters but she watched it repeatedly for days. For Christmas she got the personalised VeggieTales CD which again tormented us for a long time. Its quite cool and features songs like ‘He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands’ and ‘God Is So Good’

There seems to be a whole range of this stuff and although I am by no means a super christan I do have a strong faith and I want to pass this faith onto my children. VeggieTales helps intoduce them to bible stories and christian concepts in a very fun manner and in my experience lessons that are learned through fun tend to be remembered most easily.

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