After weighing it up, we decided to allow our oldest two to walk part of the way home together. Without us. Yikes!

Now, we don’t live too far from the school. It’s a ten minute walk at best, and a relatively close-knit community where everybody knows each other. We decided that the kids are safe enough up to the first main road they have to cross, so we agreed that they would leave school together two as a week and meet us at this road.

They had their first test run today, and it went really well. Dan and I left the house a few minutes later than normal and met the older two at the arranged place. I was not-so-secretly looking out for sensible behaviour: no racing, pushing, jostling or recklessness that might result in danger. And to be fair, both of them – and the friend they were walking along with – were exceedingly well behaved.

It was easy to see the effects of this little bit of independence. The pair of them met us with big smiles, clearly pleased to have been trusted to walk without parents for once. And speaking as a parent, it wasn’t a huge risk or worry for us, so it worked out for parents and kids alike. Especially for Ray, our eldest, it’s an important factor for her because when she moves on to secondary school, she’ll be bussing it to school in another town. So it’s important for her to get this taste of independence now.

What we the ways you start building your child’s confidence, and how do you feel with each little step on the road to growing up?

I start with fitness, because Lisa and I both dropped an enormous amount of weight and started exercising. Our wardrobes changed as our waistlines contracted, and our self-confidence grew: partly due to being so successful at the seemingly insurmountable task of losing weight. Imagine you discover the self-discipline to lose 30kg – what else can you achieve when you put your mind to it? Of course we were also much healthier and feeling energised because of our new lifestyles.

The reason I titled this post “Metamorphosis” is because it feels like we’ve changed as a result of all this. The new energy is everywhere. I feel a revitalised love of life that makes me excited about the future again. I think Lisa feels it too.

We’ve transformed from the lethargic, overweight, work from home parents into two dynamic individuals who want to pack as much fun into life as possible from now on. Personally, I’m loving walking in the mountains, road running (meep-meep) and keeping my fitness levels high. I love all of this, but I want to transfer some of that success from 2011 into my professional life in 2012. But more on that later.

Life’s too short! If you’re one of those people who obsesses over the underwhelming minutae of life then you’ll be seeing a lot less of us this year. No, we don’t want to hear the ins and outs of your grocery list or the tedious details of your phone call to your car insurance company. If this stuff makes up 90% of your conversation, then you’re doing life wrong. Those are the tiny insignificant details. We’ve found ourselves surrounded by too many of these type of people. People who make life a grey, depressing, boring place. But on the other hand, we’ve (re)connected with some amazing people in the last year – friends who don’t burden us with the small stuff, who value our company and who we look forward to seeing.

If we don’t look forward to seeing you, then there’s something broken in our relationship. We’ll either fix it or walk away.

Which brings me to my next point: we’re not going to be craven wusses this year. If we’ve got a problem with you, you’re going to hear about it. That doesn’t mean we’ll be strapping on boxing gloves at the first sign of a disagreement or putting severed horses heads in your bed at night. But we won’t be bottling things up anymore. Two reasons:

• When we bottle things up, we become more resentful. And resentment eats away at us. It makes us look for more things to be annoyed about and then things become a mess of gripes and complaints so seemingly insurmountable that we end up ruining relationships. I know this sounds incredibly vague, but we’ve had first-hand experience of this in the last year.
• It’s better for everybody. It removes the need for resentment – if you do something that upsets me, I tell you and we move on. You’ll be aware of what my boundaries are in future. Likewise, I’ll have spoken my mind, so I have no excuse to be resentful. This difuses tension and allows us to continue our relationship.

Lisa and I are in a unique position – we run a fairly successful business from home and we’re lucky to spend lots of time with our three kids, who we love dearly. We’ve come out of what feels like a four-year long funk, and we’re ready to play! Our goal is to surround ourselves with fun people who enjoy life and to pack in as much adventure into life as possible. We’re going to dwell less on the negative experiences we’ve had and set our sights on enjoying life as much as possible.

Hopefully in the next 12 months we’ll be sharing some of that fun with you guys! Happy 2012! Let’s make this year a great one!

This becomes more of a problem at the weekends, because of the subject matter of our main blog, that’s when we’re most busy. So the dilemma for us is how do we give the children our attention while getting the work done?

Answer: divide and conquer. My wife stays at home and works on the site while I take the children for day trips and outings.

Some dads might feel like they’re getting a raw deal, but that couldn’t be further from the truth! Take this weekend for instance – my wife just jetted off for a business trip to London for three days. Now, we’ll miss her and she’ll miss us, but we’ll get by without her!

I always have a pep talk with the kids whenever I’m going to be alone with them for any length of time. I let them know that I’m going to be on my own and I need them to help out when they’re asked and that they need to try their hardest to get along. Once we’ve got those basics covered, things usually run pretty smoothly. This morning, before we took our day trip, I asked everyone to pitch in with getting ready and even persuaded our eldest to help me pair socks in preparation for the next couple of days of school!

That done, we headed out to the Ulster Folk and Transport Museum. It’s somewhere I’ve been visiting since I was a child, and it’s become a big part of the kids’ lives as well. It’s their opportunity to see what Northern Ireland was like way back at the turn of the last century and how people lived. It’s essentially a replica rural village with old buildings that have been transported brick-by-wonderful-brick to a sprawling country estate outside Belfast. And as I hope the pictures in this post prove, it’s a gorgeous place to spend a chilly autumn afternoon!

But of course this post isn’t to extoll the virtues of Northern Irish tourist spots to you – I wanted to talk about the genuine pleasure that it is to take the children out on these day trips!

What I’ve discovered over the last few months – since the summer holidays, actually – is that my children are fantastic friends. Sure, they bicker and argue like most kids, but they have an amazing camaraderie with each other. They’re always smiling and singing and dancing on these day trips – and they’re at a great age where you can let them wander around and explore without worrying about them damaging themselves or anyone else!

From the moment we set out this morning, they were joking and singing in the car. The eldest was flicking between radio stations or finding her favourite song by The Doors on the CD we had with us. I’d taken along a few snacks because it was going to be a long day out and I wanted to save money instead of eating expensive and unhealthy take-away food. They were given the choice to have their snacks immediately when we arrived or to wait and have them later – and they democratically made the decision themselves.

And when we got home…well, the two oldest helped me make a Paddy Pizza dinner (local recipe – I’ll share it with you someday!) and the youngest helped set the table.

What I’ve learned in taking the kids out on my own like this is that my children are a wonderful little gang. They’re great mates, and they love outdoor experiences. They’re not greedy like other kids we know – they love to eat in Burger King as much as the next kid, but they’ll never complain if we produce a packed lunch!

Sometimes parenting alone forces you to raise your game. It’s just you and the children – are you going to vegetate in the house all day, or are you going to go outside and bond with them and do something fun? It used to be easy and convenient to just watch TV and play console games. But really, there’s nothing like the smiles and hugs and fun of going out and having adventures. Last week it was the Giant’s Causeway, this week it was the Ulster Folk and Transport Museum. What’ll it be next week? Who knows? It all depends on the weather. But we already know it’ll be fun!

Do any of you notice a difference when your other half goes away and you’re looking after the children alone?

Of course, she’s precocious beyond her years. Ten going on teenager, really. But I think it’s fun when they’re this age to sit and reflect on their journey. After all, it’s been a decade.

I remember when she was a baby, I’d come home from work in the afternoon and go for a nap with her. I’m sure it started off as me giving her mum a break, but we’d ultimately settle on the bed and she would fall asleep in the crook of my arm. It was a standing arrangement.

Of course all of that was in a different house, fifteen miles away, a decade ago. So much has changed in the meantime. She’s had two brothers. She’s joined classes. She’s made friends.

I may be biased, but I think my little daughter has grown into a wonderful little person. She’s quick-witted, pedantic, hilarious. One of her recent things is to wind up her mum while winking furiously at me to show that she’s trying to get a reaction. But of course, the winking always results in a furious shaking of her head, so Lisa knows exactly what’s going on!

She loves my music. She’s been listening to old CDs of mine in the car – The Doors, Alice Cooper, Bon Jovi. Even Iron Maiden, but only for Flight Of Icarus. Because she’s made up her own nonsense lyrics to the song. When she heard that I’d agreed to play bass for a band recently, she was so excited that she told everybody in school and dogged me for days to find out what the band would be called.

Of all the things I love about the child, I think it’s just the relationship I have with her that’s just so much fun. She’s got my goofy sense of humour. When we had some friends round the other evening, one of them laughed at her jokes and said to me, “She’s just like you.” I might have blushed at the compliment.

Lisa sometimes frets about the speed the children are growing up at. With Rachel, a decade has passed in the blink of an eye. But it never worries me. How boring would it be if our children stayed the same age forever? Onward, upward to the next adventure! In two years she’ll be starting secondary school, and that’ll be a brand new world for her. She’s loving her dance classes at the moment, and she’s forever throwing herself into new things, learning and growing without even realising it. She’s just having fun.

For me, I just love spending time with this wonderful human being who makes me laugh and makes me proud and makes me feel fiercely protective at the same time. Oh, she can be frustrating sometimes and a downright diva at others, but I wouldn’t have her any other way. I’m looking forward to her growing older and watching all the mischief she gets up to. She really is a wonderful child. All of my kids are!

It’s been a brilliant 10 years, Rachel. I’m looking forward to another decade of silly jokes, catty comments and lots of love and fun! Happy Birthday, Girlpants!

Homeworks in our house are lengthy affairs. The kids come home, their returns staggered by about an hour in general. The two youngest are first home, and they get stuck into homework right away. How quickly they finish depends on how focused they are, how tired after school and how hungry.

Today, Jake had to do a reading homework in addition to his usual tasks. You could tell right away he was going to be a reluctant participant. He was impatient to race off and play Playstation with his brother. Since the Playstation made a surprise return to our household earlier this week, it’s been virtually all they want to do.

Anyway. He changed books because he didn’t like the one he’d brought home. Then he opted to go to the attic room with me to read in quiet. And then he moaned and grumbled about the replacement dinosaur book HE’d chosen! Damnit.

We laboriously struggled through eight pages of reading (he’d been asked to do thirteen). And then he REALLY dug his heels in. That’s when the “I hate you”s began. And throwing himself around the room. And throwing things around the room. Threats were issued and roundly ignored. The softly-softly approach was tried, gradually giving way to a louder, angrier, more frustrated voice.

But it’s not entirely his fault. I honestly believe that he’s living on a steady diet of TV and computer games. Books, with their still words on pages THAT SHOCKINGLY DO NOT LIGHT UP are “so boring” to him. I’ve read recently that’s the crux of the problem: books don’t offer the same excitement as consoles and TV series.

This is almost doubly disappointing, because Lisa and I are avid readers. Our house is coming down with books and we’ve made sure the children are well provided for. There’s a virtual library of Horrible Histories, Captain Underpants and Horrid Henrys. The only problem is, these things frequently play second fiddle to Wii, iCarly and DSLites.

But what’s the solution? As I said to Jake tonight, he could have been finished hours earlier if he’d only read the book instead of throwing the Mother Of All Tantrums.

I think he has no excitement or passion for sitting down and reading. That’s probably a failure on our part as parents for not reading to them more. Not switching off all the screens around the house and having quiet time for reading. Maybe we need to do that – start off with 10-20 minute sessions, building up their reading stamina until they’re capable of reading unassisted for longer.

But if I’m honest, I’m at my wits end and possibly out oft depth here as a parent. I definitely don’t think there was a clear winner in that battle of wills today. Suggestions from all you clued in parents are more than welcome.

Yikes. I noticed that it’s been a while since I’ve done the fitness update on this blog. And that it’s been an incredible 17 weeks since I started this. Wow.

The weight loss has continued on its downward trajectory, and I’ve continued to exercise and maintain a healthy diet. Let’s take a look at the weight loss journey as chronicled here on Family Of Five:

• Week 1 – Weighed in at 109.8kg. This was before any exercise or substantial change of diet.
• Week 4 – 103.8kg. Quite an inspiring drop in weight. I think it was these big initial changes in weight that spurred me to keep going.
• Week 6 – 99.4kg. Even after this 10kg drop from my initial weigh-in, I felt like I was on a plateau for weeks afterward. I stayed persistent though, and kept exercising and eating well.
• Week 17 – 87.6kg. Again, I felt like I was stuck around 90-92kg  for the longest while. But in the last week, I’ve seen the weight start to shift again.

What’s my target weight?

This became a big question for me during the main weight loss programme: what exactly is a healthy weight for me to be at?

So I consulted an online BMI calculator: for my height (188cm), the ‘normal’ weight range for me is between 65kg and 88kg. As you can see, I’ve literally just come into my normal weight range for the first time in years! Hooray! Big milestone!

I’ve found knowing my ideal weight range to be really helpful. Of course, I’m currently borderline overweight, so I want a greater margin of safety so that I don’t drift into overweight again too easily. At this point in time, I’d be happy to bring my weight down to around 80kg.

How have I been exercising?

Running has become a big part of my routine now. I’ve gradually increased the distances I’ve been running. On a trip to London over Easter, I ran through the city with my brother in law (ish), Gordon. We managed an 8 mile run on that occassion, but that was overdoing it for me. My calves paid me back with severe cramps for the next few days!

This past week, I’ve been running 5 and 7 mile sessions, culminating on an 11 mile run at the weekend. The Nike+ GPS app for the iPhone is a godsend for me – keeping a record of every run, my pace, distance and everything else. At the time of writing, I’ve recorded a total of 175 miles!

I’ve ditched The Biggest Loser Wii Game. I found after a while, running was more effective, and the Wii game wasn’t challenging enough. However, I kept Jillian Michaels close by – I’m using her 6 Week 6 Pack DVD to work on my core. I actually find that this combination is working very well for me. Days doing a run and a DVD session can help kick start plateauing weight loss!

Diet

Ah, diet! I’ve not been quite as strict on the diet front. You know why? Because I’m generally eating extremely well, I don’t mind the odd deviation here and there.

Don’t get me wrong: take-aways are strictly off limits. I find they’re not as tasty as I remember, and the newfound feeling of guilt and self-loathing after eating one has put me off them altogether. We’ve replaced a lot of the junk and carb-heavy meals with smaller portions and more fresh fruit and vegetables. Salads accompany a lot of our meals now too.

But I won’t say no to the odd chocolate bar every now and again or a slightly less healthy snack. And sometimes we’ll have a ‘blow out’ meal because we’ve heard that keeps your metabolism on its toes!

Biggest surprise: salads with dinner and snacking on fresh fruit is an acquired taste. Stick with it and you’ll be craving a crunchy apple or juicy melon instead of crisps and Coke. Seriously. And I genuinely don’t miss those things – I’ve worked too hard to lose 22kg in 17 weeks, and junk food was part of the problem. That’s enough of a deterrent for now!

Photo credit: Hairy.Jacques on Flickr

With my last update, I was weighing in at 103.8kg. However, with some increased exercise, I’ve been steadily working the weight downwards. This morning, after a 3.2 mile jog, I showered and weighed in at 99.4kg.

Now, no doubt throughout the day that may rise to over 100kg again, but it’s a great sign that I’m nearing my target weight. In fact, it’s virtually the midway point. Remember, my starting weight roughly 6 weks ago was 109.8kg, and my target weight is 90kg. So I’m literally in the middle.

And what’s more, I’m really starting to feel the effects of the exercise now. My waistline is visibly trimmer, and my stamina is increasing weekly. This last couple of days, I’ve started jogging. I’ve never really tried to jog before, but I’m finding that I can jog longer before I become breathless, and my recovery time is shortening, so I can pick up jogging again quite quickly.

My plan continues to be to get down to my target weight as quickly as possible, then work on maintaning that weight while trying to tone up my midsection. All being well, I’m on track to being my target weight beforewe go on holiday in the summer.

How am I going to achieve this? Well, I’ll continue doing the Biggest Loser Wii game sessions daily. Those are working wonders right now. But I believe I’m attacking the weight harder by supplementing this with cycling or jogging sessions. I’m also trying to mix up the exercise sessions by making sure I take one day for total rest, and mixing up the times and intensities of exercise to that my weight loss doesn’t start to plateau.

Diet

First up, I have to a reasonable extent, been looking after what I eat. Smaller portion sizes, more fruit and veg and smaller meals spread out across the day to make sure I don’t get ravenous and go on a fridge raid!

However, there have been a few setbacks – most notably two takeaways in one weekend. We had houseguests and ordered in. And washed the junk food down with quite a lot of beer. Other than that though, my alcohol consumption is virtually nil right now, and I’m trying to keep junk food out of my diet.

Exercise

I’ve also been continuing my daily Biggest Loser Wii game workout. That’s been killer. There have been points – and I hope you’re not eating as you read this – where I was slipping on the sweat-drenched floor as Jillian Michaels barked at me to keep doing the pushups!

I’d started off doing 30 minute sessions every evening, but after a fortnight upped the length to 40 minutes. I know it’s only ten minutes, but it made a real difference. I’m exhausted after each session now. And dripping in sweat. It’s not pretty, but it has to be done.

The biggest benefit is that I can feel muscles taking form. After a largely sedentary lifestyle for years, I’m starting to get the hang of push-ups. And not the bra kind. I can feel biceps taking shape from the boxercise sessions, and the pot belly is slowly giving way to abs. Proper abs! This is the dream folks – for years I’ve been promising to get a six-pack by summer. Whether that’s achievable or not is anyone’s guess, but it’s a step in the right direction.

Oh, yeah – I’m also trying to walk to and from the daily school pickups now. And whenever possible go for a long walk.

Weight Loss

This is the most difficult one – I briefly became obsessed with weighing myself. Until I realised that the fluctuation in weight at different times of the day is crazy. Plus what you’re wearing will always make a difference. Adding clothes jumps up the totals, so it’s best to weigh-in at the same time each day. I usually do it after my Biggest Loser workout, when I’m finished in the shower.

So I started this project at 109.8kg, then went down to 107 in less than a week. On my Sunday Biggest Loser weigh-in, I was 104-point-something. And tonight, I was weighing in at 103.8kg. It does feel like the weight loss is slowing down. I’ve been told to expect this, but I also suspect that the weekend’s junk food and beer may have played a part in this setback. That won’t happen again.

Still, according to the Wii game, the target weight I have to reach is 90kg. That’s still a fair distance away, but I’m looking forward to working the weight down to something more manageable!

I’ll try and report back on Sunday after the weekly weigh-in. My goal is to try and lose around 1kg per week…

I’ve touched on this theme before, but getting started is the biggest problem. Just trying to be more active throughout the day, eating smaller portions and healthier foods. Swapping snack foods for fruit.

What’s my goal? I’d really love a flat stomach. I’d love to wear a t-shirt and not have an embarrassing overhang. I’d love to lose a bit of the roundness around my face. When you look at overweight people, sometimes their weight prematurely ages them – and when the weight falls off they look younger again.

And here’s the rub – Lisa and I are such sedentary sods. We’re livin’ la vida sofa. But that’s to be expected for two people who make their living off the internet.

So, as well as cutting back on the red wine and Chinese takeaways (we’re deleting the local takeaway’s number from our mobile phones right now), we need to get better at taking more exercise. To achieve the more exercise, we’re making an effort to walk to the school more. That’s at least twice a day and takes roughly 30 minutes there and back.

And that brings us to The Biggest Loser – every night I’m trying to religiously do a 30 minute routine. The Wii game has a nice weigh-in feature and my first night I weighed 109.8kg. Four nights later, and the scales say 107.4kg. It’s a start. Most importantly, the exercise is gentle enough to be challenging without injuring myself. It’s been years since I’ve done anything remotely vigorous. That’s why my midsection is so damned doughy.

In an effort to keep up a routine, I’m going to start posting progress pictures and weigh-in data to track how well I’m doing. Ideally, I’ll have done enough work to look good on holiday this summer. But we’ll see, won’t we?

P.S. I’m open to all advice from you guys for weight loss, healthy eating and toning up my abs! Leave me a comment!

What was really funny was that Lisa gave me a decoy present first – a Bluray player. The box was clearly too big to be an iPhone. I flirted with the idea that it might be…gasp…an iPad, but the parcel was too heavy.

When I discovered it was a Bluray player, I was initially crestfallen. This is a present for everybody! Then I looked at it a bit closer – not only was it backward compatible with all our DVDs, but it can connect to our home network and it can play media from USB drives. This is fantastic, because I have a ton of videos in AVI format on a 500Gb hard disk that I can now just hook straight into the Bluray and play! Previously, I had to hook my laptop up to the TV, then play the media through the laptop, so this was amazing.

So engrossed was I in the features of this gadget, that I didn’t even notice Lisa throwing another smaller box at me…I barely took my eyes away from the Bluray player.

At this point, I genuinely had no idea that there was another big present. When I opened the package and saw what it was I was actually overwhelmed for a moment. These were twoamazing, expensive presents. And I’d dreamed of getting an iPhone for ages – I suspected it briefly when Lisa sold my old Sony Erickson phone a while back.

Now, my father-in-law has a wonderful turn of phrase for things he doesn’t like or understand:Shite. Looking at the iPhone over Christmas dinner, he issued his usual judgement. “It’s shite. What does it even do?” Well, what doesn’t it do?

It’s got great social media apps – I can update Twitter and Facebook from wherever I am. It’s got maps, calendar, music, stacks of features built in. I’ve downloaded Monopoly, Scrabble and Sudoku for my iPhone. What else? High quality camera for still pictures and video. Amazing for capturing little fun moments with the family. The built-in voice recorder is amazing quality. The multimedia capabilities of the iPhone are astounding – all in that tiny little box.

On New Year’s Eve, we used the Skype app to chat face to face with our friend in America – for free. I’ve used Facetime to chat to Lisa – it’s fantastic, but a bit frivolous. I’ve discovered the joys of FourSquare – a fun app that checks you in wherever you are and tells you what’s going on around you.

I’ve probably only touched the tip of the iceberg – like today I bought an app that allows you to have SSH access to web servers. Being a web administrator, it’s handy to be able to check server status and restart services remotely from wherever I am.

It’s so much more than a phone, and I’m so grateful to Lisa for being a real darling and buying me the best toy ever for Christmas!

So, over to you – did you get any cool stuff for Christmas?